The blonde jokes below are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of appropriate blonde jokes.
Your Kid Has Been Kidnapped A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
She Was Soooo Blonde... - She thought a quarterback was a refund. - She thought General Motors was in the army. - She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. - She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. - At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.' - She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Slot Machine Winner A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in one dollar, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts one more dollar into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
Helping An Overweight Blonde An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
Guess Who Knows the State Capitals? A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
Your Kid Has Been Kidnapped A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
She Was Soooo Blonde... - She thought a quarterback was a refund. - She thought General Motors was in the army. - She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. - She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. - At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.' - She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Slot Machine Winner A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in one dollar, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts one more dollar into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
Helping An Overweight Blonde An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
Guess Who Knows the State Capitals? A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
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